Knock on wood.

I thought things were changing. I really did. I thought I was finally going to stop feeling like the outcast around friends who some of them I've known for years!

But what happened?

I got my hopes up. And they were crushed. I was starting to feel wanted again. So much for that.

I don't think they know how it hurts.

To be hanging out at home when your mom comes and asks you if you were supposed to go hang out with your friends, and you had no idea. I told her I had no clue. Guess o wasn't invited.

Your supposed to be one of my best friends. We do, or used to do, everything together. I guess I know where we stand. I guess I know where that whole group stands because no one thought to invite lame old allie. Who really cares about her anyways.

I hope they know I'm done. Except for a few people I have no desire to hang out there anymore. I need something new. I need to break away. I need to start over.

And this time, I'm gonna knock on wood.

Ever since this weekend.

I don't know what it is.

It's like my eyes have opened.

Ever since this last weekend I have just been happy. Its like all of a sudden everything stopped bothering me.

Maybe I finally grew up. Maybe I just needed a weekend to make new friends and be around a bunch of people who believe the same stuff as me. I don't know what it is or what happened but ever since I've been happy. Just happy all the time. I like it.

Can't wait to go back

:)

Mixed signals.

If your trying to tell me something. I'm not getting it. All I get from you is mixed signals. :/