Knock on wood.

I thought things were changing. I really did. I thought I was finally going to stop feeling like the outcast around friends who some of them I've known for years!

But what happened?

I got my hopes up. And they were crushed. I was starting to feel wanted again. So much for that.

I don't think they know how it hurts.

To be hanging out at home when your mom comes and asks you if you were supposed to go hang out with your friends, and you had no idea. I told her I had no clue. Guess o wasn't invited.

Your supposed to be one of my best friends. We do, or used to do, everything together. I guess I know where we stand. I guess I know where that whole group stands because no one thought to invite lame old allie. Who really cares about her anyways.

I hope they know I'm done. Except for a few people I have no desire to hang out there anymore. I need something new. I need to break away. I need to start over.

And this time, I'm gonna knock on wood.