I can't.

I can't think about the future because every time I do, I lose it.

Yes, it is exciting. Yes, I know great things are in store for my friends and I. However at the same time, I'm not ready for it.

If you look at my little circle of friends, a good chunk of them are seniors. After next semester, a good chunk of them are leaving for college. I'm scared. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly happy for them. I know they are going to go off and have wonderful experiences and do great things in life, but every time I think about them leaving I can't help but cry.

I'm not going to be able to drive 10 min. to see one of my best friends for Monday night homework sessions. I'm not going to have someone there to take me on adventures and not freak out when we run out of gas. I'm not going to have someone who I may not see often, but when I do see them we always have a great time. I'm not going to have them. I'm not going to have ANY of them.

Yes, a great portion of my friends are my age. They will not be leaving until I myself leave and I am so incredibly grateful for that. But still, knowing that so much of my life next year will be so different scares me to no end.

I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for the end to come.